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In Life’s Persistence, Ayuni D Sends Thanks to Her 16-Year-Old Self

2024.4.12

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Size Doesn’t Matter: Reevaluating Goals, Hobbies, and Dreams

-What would you like to say to those who say they don’t have anything they want to do right now?

Ayuni D: I would like to say out loud to those who think that there is nothing they want to do right now and that they have nothing to look forward to in life, “Try taking some action and you might be surprised at how much fun it can be.

I think it really just needs to be something simple at first. Try taking a different route home, or listen to music that you wouldn’t normally listen to because of someone else’s influence. Or, you could try to buy something nice with money and start from the beginning. I think these things will also lead to challenges.

Even if you don’t have any hobbies, if you look at various things, they may become your hobbies. For example, eating a meal is something you will continue to do until you die. If you are going to go to the trouble of doing it every day, you should not only eat what is in front of you, but you should also be conscious of making and eating food that you like. Or you might think about going to that restaurant you are interested in tomorrow. That may lead to a little hope for tomorrow.

I have recently been thinking that what we want to do, our hobbies, and our dreams don’t have to be big, and that we don’t have to think too hard about what we can do for money. So I think that if we take it easy, look at what we can do now, what we have now, and try to make it interesting, it might lead to something.

-I think you feel that the intensity of the message contained in the PEDRO songs you create is also changing rapidly in proportion to your own constant challenges and changes.

Ayuni D: That’s right. I myself am a fluid creature, just as this earth and society are fluid. The way I use words in my lyrics, the way I put them in, the way I think, and the genre of music I want to play are all “deepening” rather than evolving to a degree I can’t imagine. However, there is a fundamental part that has not changed.

-What is that part?

Ayuni D: My goal is “to be a good person,” but I think the part of me that always looks at the world in an oblique way will never change.

-I think that the images and words of expression that come out of this oblique view of the world are also the parts that are changing the most.

Ayuni D: That’s right. I think before it was like just spewing out complaints, but now there is more and more awareness of ideas that are different from my own. Still, I like sarcasm, and I also like a warm, cheerful heart.

Recently, I was thinking that until recently, I wanted to live a life that emphasized serenity and only “joy” out of “anger, sorrow, and pleasure,” but that was very difficult for me. I don’t feel like living. I realized that being too safe was not for me either.

I realized that just as nature needs the four seasons, I need the four emotions of “joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure. That is why I have been thinking recently that I want to be stimulated and experience various realizations and discoveries every day, and pursue the joy of transforming the power of anger and the power of sadness into my own expression.

-I think that now you know, Ayuni, that the heat of anger and sadness can be ultimately output into something positive depending on how you sublimate it.

Ayuni D: Thank you very much. I think you are right. In the end, the biggest thing I want to do is to embrace it all by myself and express it in a sublimated way.

-When the staff said to me in “The Return,” “Just move forward slowly,” Ayuni said, “Maybe I wanted to hear those words for a long time. That scene was very impressive.

Ayuni D: When I was in BiSH, I was the youngest, so I was always in a hurry to get on with my life, and I was always choking myself because I knew I would never be forgiven if I stopped running. I had gotten into that habit.

But as I became independent, I listened to many people and thought, “Oh, life is still long; if I want to live until I am 100 years old, I am still a baby. If I want to live to be 100 years old, I am still a baby. I thought to myself, “What’s the use of rushing to live now? I thought, “I should listen to my body and mind more, listen to others more, take my time to meet various people, and challenge myself in various ways.

On the other hand, I am also realizing that I cannot move forward without stimulation, and that is why I now think that balance is important. I think that it is because I was in a hurry to live at that time that I was able to challenge myself in so many different ways. When I am in a hurry and in a desperate situation, the words, “It’s okay to take it slow,” support me, and when I feel like I am taking it slow and not feeling like living, I want to run hard again and challenge myself a little more. It is really a balance.

#WordsToMyYoungerSelf presented by FRISK
In support of taking positive steps and new challenges, FRISK’s “#WordsToMyYoungerSelf” features 11 artists, talents, and creators penning letters to their younger selves. Interviews and discussions about the content of these letters will be delivered by CINRA, J-WAVE, me and you, Natalie, NiEW, and QJWeb. The handwritten letters in their entirety will be exhibited at the FRISK “Words To My Younger Self Exhibition” at BONUS TRACK in Shimokitazawa from April 11th (Thursday) onwards.

I desire to persistently sing with fondness, passionately express, calmly articulate, deeply contemplate, heartily indulge, eagerly absorb, confidently rest, refreshingly labor, and joyfully smile. Thank you, 16-year-old me, for persevering in life. Let’s journey through this planet for a long time.

Excerpt from Ayuni D’s letter (“Words to Deliver to the Jibuns of Those Days,” presented by FRISK)

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