Singer-songwriter Kukairi Sawada has recently released a new track titled “己己巳己.” Formerly known as Sori Sawada, she transitioned to using her real name in 2021. Renowned for her lyricism that delves into personal narratives, often referred to as “a slice of my life,” Sawada crafts a distinctive style by vividly portraying emotional landscapes through precise sound design. Following her major label debut “Testament,” a response to a specific individual who served as a recurring motif in Sawada’s previous works, “Ikoi Miki” stands as a composition where she labels herself a “miserable monster.” In this song, she explores the thoughts and emotions beyond that persona, expressing a desire for a profound exchange of hearts and minds while acknowledging her own struggles.
The guiding principles of Sawada’s life philosophy stem more from novels and manga than from music. Having been a member of the baseball club from elementary school to university, he encountered works by female authors and manga artists like Kaori Ekuni in his twenties, leading to a significant update in his thinking. Describing this period as “finally starting life in my mid-twenties,” the impact has been immense. In this interview, Sawada brings novels and manga that have deeply impressed him throughout his life, allowing him to delve into the unique background of his authorship under the name Kukairi Sawada.
INDEX
Songwriting without the Intention of Beautiful Words

Stimulates listeners’ senses by superimposing real emotions full of contradictions on everyday scenes. She is a singer-songwriter who also works as a professional writer. Her signature song, “If There Was Another Day,” has been covered by singers from a wide range of genres, from singer Mirei Touyama to virtual singer Hanafu. The total number of views of his cover videos exceeds 10 million.
I feel that your music is “music,” of course, but it also has a personal novel-like and visual appeal that doesn’t fit into the general category of “pop music. This is a strange question, but what do you yourself think you are creating?
Sawada: I call it “letters” to the outside world, but I think that’s a bit of a stretch, and in layman’s terms, it’s more like a “diary. It is not so much a “proof of my life” as it is a diary of the things that change over the course of my life and the things I have to leave behind as I live my life. …… I don’t think it is a collection of poems. I am aware that I am not trying to write beautiful words.
-How do you feel about calling it “art”?
Sawada: I would like to call it “art,” but I think what I am making is too childish to be called that, and it is definitely not cultural. If art is only possible when there is respect and understanding for the context, I don’t have that much of it. I don’t listen to a lot of music. So I guess it would be correct to say that I create within the limits of my own life.

-Sawada: Yes, that’s right.
Sawada: Yes, it is. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what the core of my creation is, and the more I look for it, the more I realize that I don’t have it, and I think this is a very dangerous thing. In other words, I feel that I can easily let go of music if I lose my enthusiasm for it somewhere. I’m surrounded by people who have a love of culture. I often go to houses where my friends are sharing a room, and they are all music lovers, and in their spare time they talk about “whose new album was good” and so on, but I can’t be a part of that. I feel that what I am doing is music production, not music culture.
-Are there many creators around you?
Sawada: I guess that’s a legacy of the Vocaloid era. I used to make compilations in my circle, so I still keep in touch with illustrators and other people I became friends with at that time. I think that if I try to acquire this knowledge now, it will be an “effort” rather than a “love”, and I would rather renew what I have cultivated than learn something new.

INDEX
“My Life didn’t Start until I was 25 or 26 Years Old
-In terms of “authorship,” I think the novels and manga you brought today have probably had a greater influence on you than music, so I would like to ask you to introduce one book at a time. First, “Honey and Clover” by Chika Umino.
Sawada: I think it is the same with Chika Umino’s works in general, but just using the manga format, I have the feeling that I am in touch with her ideas and what she considers to be a beautiful way of life, and I think this is especially evident in “Honey and Clover”.
If you look at “Honey and Clover” as a whole, you might think it is a love story set in an art school, but there is also a story about creative theory in the middle of it, which is also very core to the story. There is a story about a bicycle trip in the middle of the film, and it’s because he’s going through the same struggles that I am. I mentioned that I am the only one who doesn’t like music culturally, but it’s the same thing. and sets out on a journey to find out. But the answer he comes back with is “I’m fine with that. It is not that he comes back with something special. Chika Umino’s philosophy and her way of thinking about creation are included in this book, and yet the quality of the romance story is so high. …… This is a good luck charm for me.

-I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not, but I’m sure it’s a good idea. Ekuni’s name has come up a lot in past interviews.
Sawada:Mr. Ekuni is the author I admire the most, and the first book I read was “Falling Evening. It may sound a little dangerous, but if I had been born with a female gender, I would probably read Ekuni Kaori and get helpless despair all the time.
When I look at the comments about Ekuni’s works on the Internet, I often read things like “she puts something into a universal love story,” but in my opinion, it’s more like imaginary, or “if she goes this far, it’s already the realm of drama. But Mr. Ekuni never lowers the resolution. He never writes about what he doesn’t know without knowing it, or rather, he writes as words that come from his core, so to me they seem to be his thoughts. I am aware of this when I write lyrics, but even if the lyrics are self-satisfied, I think it is important to strike despair into people’s hearts. If the intensity of the lyrics is not strong enough, it is absolutely useless, so in that sense, he is one of the writers I admire. I also love the heroine Hanako so much as a character that I put her first in my life (laughs).
(Laughs) – Another of Ekuni’s novels is “Holly Garden.
Sawada:I don’t like to use this kind of word for Ekuni’s novel, but the gimmick stuck with me so much. In the middle of the novel, there is a story about a can, which I call a “cursed can,” in which the main character stuffs pictures of her ex-boyfriends and other important people into the can and keeps them out of her reach. Actually, I do the same thing.
As in all of your novels, all of your characters are very strong. They are sometimes written as fragile, but they have a strong, unwavering character, and they flaunt that character to other people. They show that “I am just crazy about love, but the rest of me is normal. But the way he leaves his unresolved feelings behind is very easy: “I put them in a can and keep them out of reach,” and there is something human about that, or maybe it is just the naivete of people who do that. It’s a sense of balance that in the end everyone is not so different. I think it’s really wonderful.

Next is Kamenosuke Ogata’s “A Bright Night Like Castella,” his only collection of poems.
Sawada:I originally read it as a quote from one of Ekuni’s novels and thought, “What a beautiful passage. It is very difficult for me to blur my imagination and give the reader some kind of scene. I think people who can write lyrics like poems think about the lyrics one or two times more than I do. I think that if I don’t give it enough resolution, it’s just too clean. But if you reduce the resolution too much, it becomes just beautiful words, so I like people who strike a good balance between the two.
When I read the line, “The night as bright as Castella,” and it made me think of Castella in the night sky, I thought, “I’ve already been completely absorbed into your world. I learned that the power of words is most beautiful when used in this way.

-By the way, when did you first encounter “Honey and Clover” and Mr. Ekuni’s works?
Sawada:It was late. I was probably around 20 years old when I saw “Honey and Clover. Ekuni’s work was more recent, like in 2020, I think.
Until then, you were in a baseball-centered, boyish world, and then you came across these works.
Sawada: I feel like I finally found a place where I fit in. I don’t think I’ve said this in many interviews, but I didn’t really start my life until I was 25 or 26 (……), and now I don’t think I did much thinking with my head. I met a lot of people, thought about a lot of things, and when my tastes and interests became more in line with my own, I think I was able to see the outline of who I was for the first time. Until then, I was in a culture that was really the complete opposite of my own, and there is a part of me that has decided that I will never go back there.
INDEX
Four cartoons–“I should be able to increase the amount of time I have left to live or the amount of time I have left to think about how wonderful it was.”
-Followed by Tajima Rijima’s “Water Flows Toward the Sea”.
Sawada: This was another shocker. The illustrations are pop, or soft, with a touch that doesn’t have a lot of writing, but throughout the entire book, Mr. Tajima inserts words that should be heavy all the way through without being heavy. It’s amazing how a commonplace phrase like “you will be happy” when he picks up an abandoned cat can be so convincing later on. In the scene when they are under the umbrella, he says, “If I hadn’t been there, his shoulder wouldn’t have gotten wet. The book is complete in three volumes, so I hope you enjoy it.
It’s easy to get into (laughs). Next is “My Broken Mariko” by Waka Hirako.
Sawada: The story begins when her best friend commits suicide, and although it is a story of loss, it is not about “What could I have done for her? But it’s not about “What could I have done? Why did he die?” But it is not, “If I die, the other person will be left behind. I focused on the fact that I was the one who didn’t have to imagine that.
Mariko, the girl who chooses suicide, has been broken for a long time. She is often referred to as a “bucket with a hole in it,” and no matter how much water is poured into the bucket, it always comes out the bottom, and she knows that it is impossible to save that person. But I still get pulled in by the thought that I am not the only one, that I am the only one who can fix the hole. If I give that up, I’m going to have a nasty gut feeling in the future. I’m not going to be able to save these people.
I don’t think I can fill that hole, but I can at least slow the flow of water. I’m sure I can increase the amount of time they have left to live, or the amount of time they have left to think that they were wonderful. This work definitely touches on those points, and I hope I can be the same.

-Harada-san’s “One Room Angel”.
Sawada: This was given to me by a friend. There is a boy named “Tenshi-kun,” and he is affected by human emotions. If the person near him is sad, his wings fall off, and vice versa. If the person near him is warm, his wings recover rapidly. There are many gimmicks like that, but the point is that you are telling a story that touches the heart all the time.
The other main character is kind but tends to be a bit shunned by those around him because of his appearance, and as it turns out, they were both there to save each other. So the manga as a whole is trying to convey, “People are not as bad as you think. You give and they give back. The warmth is balanced, and the gentler you are, the more you respond appropriately as a human being, the closer you get to good-bye, and I thought, “This has always been about the heart.

-Aki Horoyama’s “Marble Bitter Chocolate.
Sawada: This is a story about consumption. The main character is a novelist woman, and she attacks a girl who is doing daddy’s business and does something like a reportage writer, even though she doesn’t mean to, but she is attracted to this girl who is doing daddy’s business. Not romantically, but as a human being. It started when I realized that the target of my foolishness and thought, “I have no choice but to make money with these guys,” was not only beyond my imagination, but could be someone who could reach out to me. But what this person is doing is consumption, and I get tired of writing things like, “This is what a daddy’s girl was like. In the end, I tell him that I want to leave for the sake of the girl, but the publisher says something like, “You can’t run away from this anymore. What you did was consuming and horrific long ago, and suddenly “I’m no longer complicit” is not acceptable. I think that is also a terribly good argument.
I too have consumed someone else with my music, and I am proud to call it an attack. But it says here that it is not enough to be proud of it, all you can do is accept the fact, and the words that follow mean nothing. I was quite taken by this.
INDEX
Three books to help us understand the opposite sex: “I thought there are fears we can’t imagine in a woman’s life.
Next is “Kitchen” by Banana Yoshimoto.
Sawada: It’s a topic that often comes up between men and women, but I’ve always wondered what the boundary between friendship and love is, and I think “Kitchen” does a good job of verbalizing this. When I think about what is the difference between the feeling of “wanting to take care of someone” and the feeling of love, I think it is just a different form, but I don’t really know.
I have lived in a rather male-oriented world, and now there is a part of me that wants to be excessively close to the idea of girls, so I am even more concerned about the boundary between the two. At that time, I remembered reading “Kitchen” a long time ago, and I thought, “This book had that aspect,” and when I read it again, I was surprised to find that my understanding of it was completely different.
-How did it change?
Sawada: When I read it now, I can see that it is definitely a story about love, but at the time I saw it as a bit more tragic. I saw it as a story of loss. But this is a story about love all the way through, and it’s about how long that love lasts. I don’t want to say that the words you say or the love you express can change a person’s life, but at least as long as the person remembers them, they have the power to save that person’s life. I feel this very strongly from “Kitchen.

Congratulations” by Hiromi Kawakami.
Sawada: I read this one once seven years ago, and it’s been a long time since I pulled it out. It was the book most recommended to me by a girl who had sung in “The Last Will and Testament” and other songs up to that point. We were both into Hiromi Kawakami at the time, and read “Sensei’s Bag” and “Parade. I remember that I liked it a lot when I read it because she said, “I think Sawada would like this one,” but I don’t remember anything after that.
I just didn’t want to read it again, or I thought there was something in it that would definitely fall apart if I read it again. If I read it now, I would update it in my mind, so I don’t open it anymore. At that time, I was still in a period of time when I had not yet developed a mind of my own, when I had not yet made a choice about what was good for me, so if I read it now, I would definitely feel differently. But I’m sure this is something that will give meaning to my life if I don’t open it.

-Sawada: “The Will” by Chikako Ogura.
Sawada: Looking back on it now, I think the girl in the “suicide note” had a greater dislike of masculinity than other people, but at the same time she had an ideal of paternity that was in inverse proportion to that. But at the time, I didn’t understand it at all, and I didn’t want to understand it. I thought that men were not designed to attack other men as much as you might think, that it is just that there are dramas and creations that push it as a symbol of masculinity, and that in terms of human arrogance, it is not that different.
-I don’t think it is something to be dismissed out of hand.
Sawada: I had given up thinking in this way, but after not being able to see or talk to the boy anymore, I had a lot to think about. I have always played baseball, and I am not too male in my thinking or misogynistic, and I am not inclined to lean either way, but I have read Ekuni’s books at ……, and I think that there are things that women cannot avoid in their lives, things that we cannot imagine. I am not a misogynist, but I read Ekuni’s book and I thought that there are fears that we cannot imagine.
I have never been afraid of walking on the street at night, but women are not, and when a woman tells me “that’s heavy” and lifts up my luggage, the difference in strength between men and women may be many times greater than I imagined. When I thought about that, I thought this might be a bad idea if I didn’t read a few more “this is the way I lived my life” written by women. My friends and girlfriends can tell me something similar to that, but they can’t tell me to the point where they say, “That’s why it’s hard for me,” so I thought, “What’s making it hard to live?” I wanted to know more about things like that.
-I have been a baseball player for a long time and grew up in a masculine environment, but since my 20s, including as a sort of reaction, I have deepened my understanding of femininity by coming into contact with novels and manga, mainly by female authors, and the knowledge and experience I gained there are reflected in the creative works you are making today. Ms. Sawada’s music is a reflection of her experience as a writer. I am sure that this is the reason why Ms. Sawada’s music is so popular among women, despite the fact that it has a strong personal novel aspect, and the major theme behind it is the “relationship between the heart and mind” that transcends gender differences and “saving the heart. Having been introduced to various works so far, I felt such a transition in your life, Ms. Sawada.
Sawada: Thank you for summarizing so beautifully. I was originally in a man-male environment, but if you ask me if I was very comfortable there, I was not. So, when I was about 26 years old, my mind was finally formed, and I was a bit moved by that. I was impressed that I could think for myself. So I really wish I had encountered these works earlier. If I had done that, I probably would have lived a completely different life than I do now, and I would have had a happier future. I can’t help but imagine …… what it would have been like.

INDEX
I am a human being, and while I love people, I am also a monster who grows up eating their love.

-What is the inspiration behind the new song “己己巳己”? What was the inspiration behind the song?
Sawada: To start with the punch line, “Even though I have a heart that innocently believes in something that doesn’t even exist, if I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t be so miserable. If only I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t have become such a miserable monster. >I wrote this song from here, but because I could say that I didn’t have a heart until my mid-twenties, I didn’t know that other people had hearts, and that’s why I was insensitively hurting people.
-But he said that his encounter with “you” changed him.
I think it is as far away as the Butterfly Effect, and it may have been something I grasped on my own, but if not for that, I would still be writing beautiful songs …… I guess that’s how “I’m still here” started.
-Sawada: So you are already a monster.
Sawada: So you are already a monster. If I were to write a song like a “suicide note” without any sense of guilt, it would be a very bad character and my sense of ethics would be broken. So this is my wish, and it would be harsh if I did not say, “A miserable monster is doing it. But I also think, “We have to live as human beings, don’t we?” That’s why I wrote these lyrics.
-<Only what reaches the ears is not the true intention. It is disproportionate to just listen. I want to talk with you from the heart. I want to do that. <This is the core of the song. I think this is the core of the song.
Sawada: In a sense, the words of a person who pays attention to others are the most unreliable, or a person who extremely avoids telling others about his/her “displeasure” is trying to avoid getting himself/herself hurt in the process. But people are not all saints, and that will explode someday. Considering this, it would be much more helpful to have people communicate their discomfort. I would be happy to receive “pleasant” messages such as “I’m having a lot of fun right now,” but if there is an explosion ahead if I continue to avoid communicating “unpleasantness,” I don’t want that explosion to happen, or at least I don’t want it to happen. <I don’t want that explosion to happen. >That’s what I mean when I say “I don’t want to hear your true feelings,” and I don’t think there are many true feelings there.
What are your thoughts behind “Just Listening Is Not Enough. >What is the meaning behind the title?
Sawada: There is a term “good listener,” but I don’t think it is a compliment, and I think it is connected to abandoning dialogue. Communication is definitely not a one-way street, and having a “talker” and a “good listener” is a complete mismatch, and to me it seems to be an abandonment of the effort to open the heart. So, the important thing is to speak from the heart. I think that things that make people think, “If I say this, I’ll look ugly,” should surprisingly be communicated to others, and that’s what I’m trying to do right now. I want people to think that I am “uncool,” or rather, I want them to think that I am a person, too. Artists tend to accumulate mysterious beliefs, and this is even more true for someone like me who does not actively transmit information. I think “己己巳己” is the key to preventing that from happening. Let’s face each other as human beings.

-Sawada: I think that by confessing that you are a miserable monster, you are paradoxically conveying your humanity, and perhaps that is where you find the essence of communication.
Sawada: I feel like I’ve swung out a bit. I feel like I’m already a monster. I don’t want to say, “I am still a human being, suffering and doing what I have to do. But “I’m ready” is a little too cool.
I have a habit of asking for help in interviews. But after writing “己己巳己,” I decided to be aware of the fact that I am a monster. I will never forget that I am a human being, and while I love people, I am also a monster that grows up eating their love.

Information

Ki-mi-mi-mi-mi
Wednesday, February 14, 2024
1. 己己巳己
2. “己己巳己”(instrumental)
Distribution URL: https://sorisawada.lnk.to/ikomiki

The Will
Wednesday, December 6, 2023
1. will
2. will (instrumental)
Distribution URL: https: //sorisawada.lnk.to/isho
Shows

Te vol.1
April 5, 2024 (Fri) Shibuya PLEASURE PLEASURE
OPEN/START:18:00/19:00
Performers: Kukairi Sawada / Furukawa Honpo
eplus 1st advance
【Period】02/14(Wednesday)12:00〜02/25(Sunday)23:59
【URL】 https://eplus.jp/te-vol1/
eplus 2nd advance
Acceptance period】03/02(Sat.) 12:00 – 03/10(Sun.) 23:59
URL】 https://eplus.jp/te-vol1/
General sale
【URL】 https://eplus.jp/te-vol1/
Inquiries: HANTS ON ENTERTAINMENT
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