INDEX
I Don’t Pick Up My Guitar When I’m Happy
Are there any particular standards or words from others that you trust?
Suzuki： Hmm… I do recall things my mother said, like “Regret doing something rather than not doing it” or “It’s fine the way you are,” but there isn’t a specific phrase that stands out. I really don’t listen to other people’s words. My ears are tiny, right? Because I don’t listen, they’ve atrophied and shrunk over time. There have been words said to me, but I forget them. There’s a certain ruthlessness in using people’s kindness and discarding it.
Do the words of others get converted into lyrics and expressed through your music?
Suzuki: Oh, that might be the case. I don’t really remember, but when I look back at my lyrics, it brings back those memories.
Zu: I think we’re influenced by various things. Maybe it doesn’t affect the song itself, but it changes our mindset.
Suzuki： That’s true. My way of thinking has changed.
Your songs consistently carry a sense of anger and frustration. You mentioned earlier that it stems from “family turmoil,” but what kinds of things are reflected in your lyrics now?
Suzuki： It’s still personal things, as it always has been. Maybe because I’m so intense, but just living life brings up things that make me go, “What’s that all about?” Even things like how people line up in the supermarket or sit on the Shinkansen make me feel that way—I’m pretty petty. I can only think from my own perspective, so I don’t match with those around me, and I can’t keep a job. It’s that irritation, mixed with the frustration of not being able to bend or understand others or forgive, that I channel into music. That’s why all my songs end up revolving around the same theme.
Does your anger fluctuate depending on the time period?
Suzuki： The total amount of anger doesn’t decrease, but it might become less noticeable when there is more happiness. For example, when a kitten is born, I don’t care about the line at the supermarket. It creates a sense of ease. I don’t write songs during those times.
Zu: So, songs are created during times when happiness is scarce. That’s the worst [laughs].
Suzuki: I used to say that if I couldn’t make songs anymore, it would probably mean I was the happiest I could be. I don’t pick up the guitar when I’m happy. That’s still true today. If I can’t make songs, I guess I’d be happy. But I wonder if that’s even possible.
Were you happy before you started making music?
Suzuki：Up until around high school, I was definitely happy. Enjoying club activities, eating delicious food, going out for a bit at night and saying “Yay!” That kind of thing. But then my environment and family changed, and once I started thinking, “Who am I?”, the unease began to surface. Once I started seeing that, it never really goes away. I think that if I push a little further, I might see more of both the higher and lower points, and it could even lead to some kind of enlightenment.
