INDEX
The Fear of Making Choices, the Difficulty of Being Sincere, and the Sympathetic Connection Between the Two in Facing These Challenges
When did you write the song “Stand By Me,” which is the final part of the trilogy?
Kaika: “Stand By Me” was also written when I was in high school. As I entered high school, I started to think more about how adults used to say things, and realized, “Oh, that’s what they meant.” I found myself remembering things from the past, almost like matching up answers. But at the same time, I became aware of how much I had forgotten. Things like picture books, anime, and manga that I was once so passionate about started to fade from my memory, and the things I rely on also kept changing. When I thought about that, I started feeling anxious about the idea of everything eventually disappearing. That’s when I wrote “Stand By Me”—about wanting something or someone to always be by my side, even though I know it’s impossible. But I couldn’t help but feel that way.
The lyric “I don’t want to grow up” is really symbolic.
Kaika: When you’re a child, you’re generally allowed to do what you want, but you’re also told what’s not allowed. However, as you grow older, you’re allowed to do more of what you like, and eventually, you can only make decisions based on your own judgment, and all choices fall on you. That’s something you can only truly understand after experiencing it.
I tend to write lyrics based on images, but when I saw it in the form of a video, I felt like it connected in a new way within myself. It was really impactful because it’s an image I would have never come up with on my own.
Yamato: That scene exists in the space between childhood and adulthood, in a place where the boundary can’t be clearly defined.
Kaika: The phrase “I don’t want to grow up” was something I simply felt and said at the time, but the reality of it weighs heavily, and I’m really moved by how a different connection of words has emerged from that.
Yamato: Thank you for accepting this with such a gentle heart. In relation to that, earlier I mentioned the concepts of “reincarnation” and “rebirth,” and the specific imagery of a baby is one aspect of that. Another is the transformation of the protagonist, the once quiet girl, who chooses for herself and changes her appearance—this act of transformation is also a form of rebirth. It’s a nostalgia that everyone faces during their adolescence or transitional phases, and it’s a common element in both the first and second works. When thinking about rebirth in the context of “children and adults,” the suffering of making choices is undoubtedly something more prominent in youth. Because you’re young, hopeful, and open to all possibilities, when you choose one thing, all the other possibilities seem to close off at once, and that despair quietly lingers right next to you. In that paradoxical sense of entrapment, the infinite future starts to be limited. I resonate and empathize with your story while recalling that struggle.
The concept of “choice” is exactly what defines both Kafu and Kaika’s activities, isn’t it? But in reality, choosing one path doesn’t necessarily close off others—possibilities remain open, and there is continuity.
Kaika: I believe everything is connected.
Yamato: Kaika, because you had the courage to face your own issues, the second-person message of “You can do it too” didn’t appear in this trilogy. I think that’s a sincere and honest way of exposing your heart. It’s not an argument like, “Since my loneliness is resolved, you’re not lonely either,” but rather a raw truth—your loneliness still exists, stretched tight, but you still dream tonight, for tomorrow. It’s the courage to offer up something that’s still in progress, something unresolved. Creating this song at such a young age is the crystallization of that choice.
Already, with so many people watching, singing a song that exposes the heart of a teenager must have been a very different kind of pressure from starting from scratch. I believe it’s beautiful that every song ends while still carrying that pain. Even with the “Rebirth Trilogy,” rebirth doesn’t mean the pain disappears. Through my conversation with you, Kaika, and as we created the visuals, I can deeply feel the echo of the pain that couldn’t be escaped, and I sense its source today.
Currently, Kaika, you’ve had the experience of performing in front of an audience and having them accept your existence. Do you think that in the future, your lyrics might take on a more second-person perspective, where you sing with others in mind or express thoughts directed at someone else?
Kaika: The three songs that Yamato-san made videos for are about myself, but in the song “Kaika,” which I wrote for the live performance in January at Yoyogi, I sing using “kimi” (you). I’ve never really thought about saving someone or anything that grand… but creating something while imagining people who are looking at me, compared to creating something without that intention, is completely different. When you have a clear person you want to reach, the motivation for writing the song changes entirely. But since I’ve spent more time creating for myself, I’m not sure what direction things will take from here.
Yamato: Being honest is the hardest thing, so when you say “I don’t know” so confidently, I feel a sense of purity and refined innocence in you. As we’ve talked today, I feel that the expression of Hanfu and the time you’ve lived through, shifting between your original self in daily life and your persona, has made it inevitable for Kaika to be born. No matter what choices you make from here, I believe you will find a way to express your pain, turning it into something beautiful. The “ka” in “sublimation” is the same as “ka” in “flower” or “hana,” after all. Whether it’s Hanfu, Kaika, or perhaps a new girl we might meet someday, it’s clear that you’ll always be transformed into a new voice, and I can only foresee a beautiful future. I genuinely wish to be one of the paths that helps your pure song reach far and wide. To do so, I’ll live my life in a way that allows me to accept purity in its truest form.
Kaika: When I create songs, the thoughts I directly feel often change shape. It’s like the things I think about condense into something solid, so it makes me really happy to hear that you’ve received it like this. What I hold dear, it’s different from just being “my true self”… but if I don’t know, I’ll say I don’t know. I won’t make decisions on the spot. I want to continue valuing the words I’ve received from Yamato-san and keep moving forward with my activities.
